Core Values: Living with Authentic Alignment
- Vanessa Marquez-Kramme
- Sep 23, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: 37 minutes ago
🎧 Prefer to listen? This blog post is available in audio format below.
Note: This audio was created using AI voice technology (ElevenLabs) as part of my commitment to accessible content. I wrote every word, but used AI to narrate it so I could offer this format without burning out.
If I asked you what your top five core values are, could you answer in less than a minute? A few months ago, I couldn't. When I thought about core values, I thought about integrity, hard work, honesty, and solidarity. Sure, those are important values, but I had never truly taken the time to dig deep and see which values made me, well...me.
Core values are the fundamental beliefs and guiding principles that dictate our behavior and
actions. They represent what is most important to us and serve as our personal compass.
Examples include honesty, integrity, compassion, respect, and perseverance. We feel more
authentic and fulfilled when we align our lives with our core values.
Did you know that Zappos, to come up with its core values, sent out an email to all its employees? Every company, like every individual, has a different set of core values that make them unique. When we are aligned with our core values, life feels good. We are more energetic, positive, and motivated. But when we don't honor our values, we suffer in mind, body, and soul. Hence, it is important to understand and know our unique set of core values. Owning your core values can help you make difficult decisions, change behavior, and steer you closer to happiness.
Living Aligned with Core Values
Living in alignment with your core values means being true to yourself and ensuring your actions reflect your deepest beliefs. This authenticity brings a sense of fulfillment and inner peace that is irreplaceable. Let’s explore what living in alignment with your core values can bring into your life:
Authenticity: Living in alignment with your core values allows you to be authentic and true to yourself. Your actions and decisions reflect your deepest beliefs and priorities. Imagine feeling unfiltered and free every day, like your most genuine self.
Fulfillment: When you live according to your core values, you often experience greater
satisfaction and purpose. Everything you do has a deeper meaning because it’s guided by what truly matters to you.
Consistency: When your behavior and choices are grounded in personal principles and beliefs, consistency becomes a hallmark. This creates a stable and predictable way of life that can be comforting and empowering. Think of it as having a steady anchor in a chaotic world.
Inner Peace: Aligning with your core values can lead to inner peace and reduced internal conflict.
Congruence between your actions and beliefs minimizes the stress that comes from living a
double life or trying to be someone you are not.
Following Others' or Society's Values
On the flip side, many of us find ourselves influenced by external pressures and expectations. This often leads to living a life that isn't truly our own, causing internal conflict and dissatisfaction. Here's what can happen when we prioritize others' values over our own:
External Influence: We've all been there—trying to fit in and live up to societal norms and cultural expectations. This can sometimes lead to actions that are not aligned with our true selves, causing a sense of dissonance.
Approval Seeking: The need for acceptance and validation can push you to prioritize external values over your own. It’s like living someone else's life, and that's just exhausting.
Conflict: Internal conflict and dissatisfaction can arise when your actions and decisions are dictated by external pressures rather than personal beliefs. This misalignment can cause a constant feeling of unease.
Adaptation: Adapting your behavior to fit societal expectations might lead to short-term benefits like social acceptance but can cause long-term dissatisfaction. The cost of fitting in often means sacrificing your true self.
Discovering and Living Your Core Values
Core values aren’t something you make up; they’re discovered through introspection and
reflection on your life experiences. Remember: connecting to your core values is a time to explore what is important to you—not other people, society, or the world!
Here’s a guide to help you uncover and live your core values:
Reflect on Highs and Lows:
High Moments: Think about times when you felt most alive and happy. What was happening? How were you feeling? What values were you honoring?
Low Moments: Consider moments when you felt down or really low. What was going on? How were you feeling? What values were being suppressed?
When reflecting on these, take as much time as you need and write as much detail as you can. It'll help with the next sections.
Identify Key Values:
Highlight the adjectives, values, and emotions that you utilize to describe both the positive
and negative experiences.
Write them down on a separate piece of paper.
If an adjective, value, or emotion repeats itself, you can write it down once. Note how many
times the word showed up in your description.
List the adjectives, values, and emotions from these reflections.
Group them into related categories and highlight the central theme for each group.
Champion and Shadow Words:
Pick a "champion word" for each category to represent the core value.
Select a "shadow word" that represents the opposite of your champion word to establish the spectrum of your core values.
Narrow Down and Rank:
Narrow your list to 5-10 top values.
Rank them in order of importance and ensure they feel personal and consistent with who you are.
Implement Your Values:
Integrate these values into your daily life. Create mantras and actionable steps to honor these values regularly.
Reflect on which values you are living and which ones need more attention.
Some Tips on How to Do This:
Define what the chosen value or values mean to YOU.
Create sentences that help you remember your values.
Choose a value name that resonates with YOU.
Purposefully remind yourself of your values: It’s important to have a visual reminder of your values, in addition to your list of values. This keeps them front and center in your mind. Here are some easy ways to remind yourself of your values on a regular basis:
Create a screensaver.
Don’t underestimate the power of a post-it.
Find a picture that represents one of your values and keep it somewhere you will see it daily.
Choose a song to represent one or more of your values and listen to it once a day as part of your morning, afternoon, or evening ritual.
Closing Thoughts
Balancing your core values with societal expectations can be tricky, but it's essential for living a fulfilling life. Increasing self-awareness and understanding your core values can help you make more informed choices about when to align with your own values and when to adapt to external pressures. Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your core values while navigating societal expectations. Regular reflection and self-assessment can aid in maintaining alignment with your core values while being aware of the influence of external factors.
Living in alignment with your core values brings authenticity, fulfillment, consistency, and inner peace. In contrast, following external values can lead to conflict, dissatisfaction, and a loss of self. By embracing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and reflecting regularly, you can master the art of balancing your true self with the world's expectations. Embrace your core values, let them guide you, and watch your life transform into something magical and fulfilling.
Want support living your values in 2026?
If you're ready to translate your values into daily decisions and aligned action, explore coaching with me or download Arc, my free year-ahead practice for setting intentions that honor who you actually are.
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