The Success Is in the Spiral: What Allowing My Business to Shift (Again and Again) Taught Me About Transformation

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The Success Is in the SpiralCoach Nane

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Note: This audio was created using AI voice technology (ElevenLabs) as part of my commitment to accessible content. I wrote every word, but used AI to narrate it so I could offer this format without burning out.

What happens when you stop performing clarity you don't have—and let the spiral show you the way.

Can You Believe? (The Pattern I Was Living)

That after 185+ hours of coaching and 24 clients, I still couldn't answer the simplest question:

"So... what do you actually do?" until a few weeks ago, when everything finally clicked.

My answer? Always some version of: "Well, every client is different, so I just help people align with themselves."

But in retrospect, the truth is: I had no idea how to talk about my work.

I mean, I did (but in a poetic, very abstract way). I could talk about the essence of the coaching work, but it was like saying it's windy outside when you can't see the wind because there's nothing moving.

Here's the thing—I was helping clients get clear on their values, set boundaries, and translate those into aligned decisions. But when it came to my own business? The translate button was broken. I was a tree blowing in the wind. With no direction and no way to actually speak TO my people and bring them in.

Sound familiar?

If you're a first-gen high-achiever who's checked all the boxes and still feels like something's missing—yeah, this is for you.

This is the thing nobody tells you about transformation work—especially trauma-aware work: You can be incredible at holding space for others while having a natural blind spot in your life. For me, when it came to my business, it wasn't that I didn't understand the work—I was just too attached to my baby (the coaching) and how I personally experienced it to translate it into words other people needed to make that same thing click for them. (You can read more about my coaching philosophy here.)

We all have that one subject that just doesn't come as naturally—the thing we can teach but struggle to step back from. Mine was letting go of my attachment to how magical and personal the work felt long enough to make it legible to someone who didn't already know me.

And honestly? That 'every client is different' line wasn't wrong. It was just incomplete. It was my way of avoiding the harder truth—that I couldn't yet name:

• I didn't know how to name the patterns I was seeing in clients: The first-gen daughter who had succeeded by being resourceful but was now burning out from that same resourcefulness. The high achiever who 'made it' but felt hollow and was questioning her career path. The woman who could advocate for everyone else but couldn't set boundaries for herself.

• The transformation I was facilitating: Helping them shift from 'blowing aimlessly in the wind' to 'steering their own ships.' From performing capacity to honoring capacity. From survival-mode resourcefulness to strategic, aligned choice and action

• Who I was actually best suited to serve. And honestly? It took me forever to let go of the idea that I could work with anyone. Technically, I probably could. The frameworks work. The tools land. The transformation happens. But the resonance? The depth? The unspoken understanding that doesn't require explanation? That happens when I'm with multicultural folks or people who've been exposed to other cultures and understand the world beyond whiteness and Western-centric views. When I don't have to explain code-switching, or immigrant family dynamics, or what it feels like to succeed in a system that wasn't built for you. That's where the magic really lives. And pretending otherwise—trying to be 'for everyone'—was diluting the potency of the work.

This matters for anyone doing transformation work—whether you're a coach, a therapist, a healer, or someone helping others through big life shifts. But honestly? It matters for anyone, period.

If you can't articulate your work, you can't reach the people who need it most. If you can't name what you need, you can't ask for help. If you can't say what you want, you can't move toward it.

And you definitely can't honor the depth of what you're actually doing—or feeling, or becoming.

This is the work: learning to name the unnamed. To translate the abstract into something real enough to share.

"This is the work: learning to name the unnamed. To translate the abstract into something real enough to share."✨

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This Is What the Spiral Actually Looks Like

Here's what I mean by "the spiral"—and why it matters:

The spiral is the pattern of returning to the same lessons at deeper levels. It's not going backwards. It's not failing to "get it right" the first time. It's evolution. It's also a capacity survival trick. You need to build capacity gradually—you can't go from beginner level to final boss (or from catching Pidgeys to catching Mewtwos, if you know, you know). The spiral brings you back to the same lesson at increasing difficulty until you're ready.

🌀"The spiral is the pattern of returning to the same lessons at deeper levels. It's not going backwards. It's not failing to 'get it right' the first time. It's evolution."

You revisit the same themes—identity, boundaries, purpose, clarity, patterns—but each time, you're at a different altitude. Each time, you understand it differently. Each time, you integrate it more deeply.

Like overbooking yourself: First spiral: You notice you always say yes and then crash. Second spiral: You try to say no, but only after you've already said yes to too many things. Third spiral: You say no in the moment, but then feel guilty for days. Fourth spiral: You say no and trust that the right things will still happen. Same pattern. Deeper integration.

Most self-help culture treats growth like a straight line: You identify the problem (I always overbook myself and then I crash out)→ You fix it (get a calendar + learn boundaries) → You move on → You're healed.

But real transformation doesn't work that way. Real transformation is cyclical. You think you've "dealt with" something, and then it shows up again—not because you failed, but because you're ready for the next layer.

This is what happened with this business. I didn't fail to get my messaging right three times. I learned what I wasn't three times, which eventually revealed what I am right now, in this iteration of the spiral.

Let me show you what I mean.

The WordPress Era: The Awakening (2020)

Back when my coaching business was called "Nane's Zone," a name that stuck from when I wanted to do YouTube vlogs to help people.

This was baby, pre-certified, "I'm figuring out I want to help people and show them how I've done it so they can do it too" energy.

Looking back, this was more "teacher-esque" than coaching. And honestly? Kinda yucky, because it was the thing every IG coach does: "This is what I did, so it must work for YOU."

But here's what I didn't see then: This phase wasn't a mistake. It was necessary.

This is where the core frameworks were born—Freeing Your Genie, the spiral itself.

They came from my inner alignment journey and from sharing that first course with people. The ideas were there. The purpose was clear.

But the skill wasn't cultivated yet. And the ego needed a lot of toning down.

🌀 Spiral Lesson #1: I had the fire, but not yet the container. The frameworks existed, but I couldn't articulate them for anyone who wasn't already inside my head.

The Canva Era: The Certification (Post-Layoff)

I hated WordPress. Loved Canva. Was scrappy and broke (or at least didn't want to spend money I didn't have).

I'd just finished my Wholehearted Coaching certification and gotten laid off. I needed a website that spoke to my actual clients and gave my podcast a home.

This version wasn't bad—it already had a lot of the coaching meat. But the abstractness of "what do you do / for whom?" was still there. A little more shaped than Nane's Zone, but abstract nonetheless.

Plus, the mobile version sucked.

But more than the tech issues, I had FOND: Fear of Niching Down.

I thought if I stayed vague enough, broad enough, warm enough, everyone would see themselves in my work.

What actually happened? Nobody saw themselves. Because when you speak to everyone, you speak to no one.

From a coaching lens, this is exactly what I help clients navigate—that moment when you're molding yourself to fit what you think others need, rather than claiming what's actually true for you.

🌀 Spiral Lesson #2: I had the skill now (certification, real clients, real transformations). But I was still afraid to claim who I was actually FOR. The spiral brought me back to the same question—"Who do you serve?"—but I wasn't ready to answer it honestly yet.

The Wix Era: The Integration (Grad School)

By the time I landed on Wix—after my first semester of marketing classes, a portfolio workshop, and honestly, sheer exhaustion from rebuilding—something shifted.

I was taking a workshop on creating your portfolio with Wix and thought: "If I need a portfolio for marketing, can I find a way to make these coexist? Can this live together since I have big dreams for this business?"

That question—"Can these coexist?"—changed everything.

Because mixed with all the final business and marketing plan projects I needed to deliver for grad school, I finally got my shit together and locked in.

Here's what was different this time:

Before, I'd done the whole "research your personas, build your messaging" thing—but it felt like guesswork.

Now, I had industry data AND 185+ hours of coaching to help me really hone this down.

I stopped asking: "What should a coaching website look like?"

I started asking: "What do my clients actually need to know before they work with me?"

Not vague promises of transformation. But clear answers to:

• Who is this for?

• What transformation are we talking about?

• What makes this different from the other coaches saying similar things?

  
  

From a coaching perspective, this is the work so many of my clients are doing right now. This is the moment when you stop performing resourcefulness—checking boxes because you're "supposed to," saying yes because you're "the capable one," building a life that looks good on paper—and start channeling resourcefulness: getting strategic about what actually serves you and how you want to spend your energy.

And yes, I see the pattern now—I was using resourcefulness to do what I thought I 'should' do (research personas! build messaging! niche down!), checking off the strategic boxes without asking if that was the way I actually wanted to check them off.

And to be honest? It worked. Each iteration taught me something. Each version brought me closer. I couldn't have skipped to this answer—I needed to build the capacity to hold it.

This is the spiral: using resourcefulness to survive got me here. Strategically channeling that same resourcefulness will get me where I actually want to be.

🌀 Spiral Lesson #3: I finally had both the lived experience (real client transformations, real language, real patterns) AND the strategic frameworks (market research, positioning, voice-of-customer data). The spiral brought me back to 'Who do you serve?' for the third time—and this time, I was ready to answer it.

For now. Because the spiral will bring me back to this question again when I'm ready for the next layer. And when it does, I hope I meet it with the same curiosity and humbleness.

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Your Permission to Return (Again and Again)

So what does this mean for YOU?

Hopefully, it means you can give yourself more grace—and maybe even celebration—when you meet the spiral for the first time, the fifth time, or the fiftieth time.

Because here's what you don't need on your spiral journey: perfection. Crystal clarity. A straight line from A to Z.

What you DO need: Permission to be in the spiral.

Your early tries aren't 'practice'—they're information.

They're teaching you:

• Who you actually are (not who you think you should be)

• Where you're craving transformation (even if you can't name it yet)

• Where you need more structure, more space, more support—or maybe just permission to do it differently.

  
  

If you're in the middle of a transformation right now—career shift, relationship ending, identity crisis, life not feeling like it fits anymore—here's what I want you to remember:

Your 'failures' aren't proof of inadequacy. They're research.

"Your 'failures' aren't proof of inadequacy. They're research."

Every version of yourself that 'didn't work out' taught you something. Every path you abandoned gave you information. Every time you thought you were going backwards, you were actually going deeper.

And here's the thing about the spiral: Your intuition knows before your logical brain does.

That restlessness you feel? That 'something's off' sensation even when everything looks good on paper? That's not you being ungrateful or indecisive. That's the spiral calling you back to the lesson you're ready for.

(Now, real talk: Sometimes that restlessness IS a trauma response or self-sabotage. That's why the next step matters.)

Your job isn't to blindly follow every impulse—it's to investigate that inner cue. To ask: Is this the spiral inviting me deeper, or is this an old pattern trying to protect me from discomfort? And then channel your resourcefulness toward understanding the difference.

The spiral is the work. Not the straight line. Not the 'I figured it out and now I'm done' story.

The spiral—where you come back to the same lessons at different altitudes, with new wisdom each time.

And the beautiful thing? Each time you return, you're more you than you were before.

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Final Thoughts: The Permission You've Been Waiting For

Here's what I want you to know—especially if you're someone who's checked all the boxes your family or society laid out for you, and you're still feeling like something's missing:

It's okay to shift if the spiral is showing you an unmet need.

You don't have to keep climbing the ladder you started on just because you're already halfway up.

You don't have to stay in the career, the relationship, the city, the version of yourself that made sense five years ago, but doesn't fit anymore.

(And if you're in burnout from trying to make it fit? That's the spiral telling you it's time.)

You can show your family—and yourself—that there's more than one way to be successful.

Success doesn't have to look like what they sacrificed for. It can look like what you're building toward.

And here's the thing: You don't have to have all the answers before you make a move.

You just need to be willing to listen to your inner cues—that restlessness, that "something's off" feeling, that quiet voice saying "this isn't it"—and channel your resourcefulness toward investigating what it's trying to tell you.

You've spent your whole life being resourceful for survival. Getting good grades. Landing the job. Proving you could make it. Checking the boxes.

Now? It's time to channel that same resourcefulness toward building a life you actually choose.

(Want to understand what I mean by 'channeling resourcefulness'? Start here.)

Not the one that looks good on paper.

Not the one that makes your parents proud (though they might surprise you).

Not the one you thought you were "supposed to" want.

The one that feels right in your body. The one that honors who you're becoming, not just who you've been.

That's the spiral. And it will keep bringing you back to this question—"What do I actually want?"—until you're brave enough to answer it honestly.

Let it take you closer to you.

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Want to apply the spiral to your 2026 planning?

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Want to go deeper?

If you're ready to channel your resourcefulness from survival mode to strategic choice, learn more about coaching with me.